No. 59 – Good-bye to you, 2022

and don't come back

Jan 01, 2023

Welcome to the latest issue of Feed the Monster: a monthly art journal for creative, curious, imperfect and sometimes disheveled humans.

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Recently I was having a not-great day, busy not-looking-forward to a social event later in the evening and generally feeling disgruntled. I was a walking bad attitude and knew I should “give my head a shake” (as my friend Trudy White likes to say) but I couldn’t stop feeling pissy. I was doing housework so I went to find a Design Matters podcast episode I hadn’t heard yet. Lo and behold, there was an episode with Temple Grandin and I immediately went to it. I started to play the episode and I kid you not, I started to feel electric currents of excitement run through my body. Next came a string of thoughts:

What the hell?
and
You sure changed your tune in a hurry!
and
What should you be taking note of here? Why so excited, my friend?

Temple Grandin is a scientist, animal behaviorist, and academic. She’s a high-functioning autistic woman who writes extensively on neurodiversity, autism rights, and the humane treatment of livestock. Many years back I read her autobiography Thinking in Pictures, which is (among other things) an “insider’s view” on living with an autistic’s mind and was considered groundbreaking at the time. I loved this book.

I think my rushes of excitement came from the fact that I’ve always been interested in neurodiversity, though I’m pretty sure that term didn’t exist when I read the book. I imagine I would’ve clumsily called it “different kinds of brains”. I can’t remember what led me to the book, but it was one of those that opened up a world I hadn’t previously been aware of, and that always makes me happy. Plus it’s just fascinating stuff.

I meant to read more of Grandin’s work, but never did. Now here she was. Sure, I saw that a TV movie had been made of her life in 2010 starring Claire Danes, but I couldn’t deal with the cute photo of Danes on the poster so I never watched it. Yes, I’m very judgy. I listened to the podcast episode and resolved to buy Grandin’s latest book, Visual Thinking. I’ll report back.

There’s a large part of me that regrets not staying in school and pursuing something academic—after my Fine Arts degree, that is—man, I could’ve gone in any number of different directions. One of the things I was considering was Languages, or maybe just concentrating on French. Now I can barely speak it. Interestingly, last night we ate out and were seated next to two young people who might have been on a date. They were talking about languages, as in, which ones they were studying or wanted to study: French, Italian, Spanish, German. It took me back to the feeling of being on the brink of getting an education. On the brink of everything.

But I didn’t do it, and here I am. Too bad? Maybe. Does it make me lesser than? No way. I’ve encountered plenty of highly educated idiots.

I can still follow my nose toward the things that interest me, and pursue them on my own. No-one can stop me! I guess that’s what this post is about. There’s no message. Except… thank God life is full of surprises. And the occasional electric current of excitement.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. For me, at least. The first half was hopeful and generative, spent mostly in anticipation of and preparing for Life’s Work: A Visual Memoir at the Victoria Arts Council. The second half sped downhill fast and landed with a sickening thud. I’m still there, flailing uselessly like a bug on its back. Stayed tuned… for when I flip over.

Because I’ve been flailing so hard and couldn’t wrap my mind around what to do for this end-of-year post, I present you with a list of books and shows I consumed in 2022. It’s not exhaustive, and also might include things from 2021… my sense of time has become a little skewed it seems.

Sorry it’s hard to read. I was trying to be arty. If you click on it, it gets bigger.

Books on the left, shows on the right—in case that’s not obvious. I’m definitely forgetting some shows, because Lord knows I’ve watched a hell of a lot of TV in the recent past. For sure forgetting some books as well.

One last thing I’d like to mention is a newsletter I recently started following called Noted—all about notes, notebooks and note-taking. I love it. To see the other newsletters I get, look here. There are so many good ones out there—I’m always trying new ones, and then eventually my inbox gets out of control and I have to cut back.

Thanks so much to the new subscribers who’ve been trickling in, and many thanks especially to those who’ve chosen to support me by becoming paid subscribers.

It means a lot! Thanks also for kind words and inspiration to keep going. Things are tough all over these days, so if you feel like you’re heading into the new year with a whimper instead of a bang, I’m with you. What I wish for you (and myself) is to be gentle and kind with yourself. You can only do what you can do. Get outside, it helps. Do whatever it takes to get out of your head—your brain can be your worst enemy. Okay, I’m talking to myself again. But I think these things are true!

❤❤❤HAPPY NEW YEAR❤❤❤

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