30 Comments
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Rachielle Sheffler's avatar

That’s such a generous moment for anyone to look back with compassion to their younger self. Thank you for a beautiful piece.

B.A. Lampman's avatar

Thank you for reading it!

Anne Kadet's avatar

You spent your NYC trip money on Montreal?

B.A. Lampman's avatar

😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

B.A. Lampman's avatar

Not all of it!

Trav Short's avatar

10,000 already? Huge milestone

B.A. Lampman's avatar

LOL. You funny ❤️‍🔥

Nadine3892's avatar

Thanks B.A. Enjoyed reading your recollections of Montreal and of art school. And, of course, I immediately went out a purchased a copy of Sunday Night Movies. We are planning to return to Quebec City next year and I rather think we should do a quick side trip to Montreal. It has been too long. Thanks for this. I will have to work up the moxie to participate in one of your collage or journaling workshops one of these days. Cheers.

B.A. Lampman's avatar

For me it's been too long since I was in Quebec City! I lived there for two years before moving to Montreal. And PS, no moxie required for the workshops! I know it's weird to walk into a new situation... it always is. I feel the same. But it can be worth it 👽

Kristine's avatar

I do love FTM. Once again, your words resonate. I think, for myself, if I knew then what I kind of, sort of, know now…I would have been an insufferable prat. If I really look hard at my early 20’s… wait… no….no, not a good idea.

B.A. Lampman's avatar

Haha, yes definitely... I thought I knew everything back then, but what did I know? Not much. And thank you for saying you love FTM, Kristine... such comments keep me going 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Pamela Barclay's avatar

Oh it sounds like an amazing trip!

Oh my twenties—mostly being swept along by other people and others expectations. No real regrets but glad I’ve found the shore of myself.

B.A. Lampman's avatar

"The shore of myself"... I like the sound of that.

Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

everything i've ever learned about the 'art world' aka the 'marketplace' has depressed and disheartened me and i wonder if the whole point of people at the gates is simply to flex some externalized knowledge, rather than having done the work of finding their own inner authority (aka becoming artists themselves). i guess one has to choose... will i run outward at 'the art world', or inward towards myself? either way, there are no guarantees, might as well choose the path that could advance us karmically into the next realm !

B.A. Lampman's avatar

To me, "the art world" isn't just the gatekeepers and the marketplace, though it is that too of course. It's also the emperor in his new clothes, dictating what's currently important and worthy of our esteem. What's "out" and what's "in". Also, all of the over-intellectualizing. Have you read Susan Sontag's Against Interpretation? It's been a long time for me, but it made a mark on me back in the day.

Rebecca's avatar

Thanks for making me cry (again) 🖕🖕🖕❤️❤️❤️

B.A. Lampman's avatar

I'm curious to know what, in this fairly benign piece, would make you cry. Was it the very last line? Was it? Was it?

Rebecca's avatar

And absolutely the last line got me yes

Rebecca's avatar

Sorry for the late reply, missed this! I think what moved me was your writing about your younger self… Interesting to re-read a week later and I can’t quite remember! I guess I felt seen in some way, your writing lands with me and for this I thank you. I’m a fan!

B.A. Lampman's avatar

Oh geez thank you, that means everything! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Rebecca's avatar

Glad that you got a redo of the trip, and so glad that you once had a cat named RAT-KING

B.A. Lampman's avatar

Rat-King was a character. I will never forget her 😞 RIP Rat-King ❤️‍🔥

Lee Hutzulak's avatar

Congrats BA! So glad this time you were able to fully enjoy the trip :)

B.A. Lampman's avatar

Thanks Lee! It was indeed a "do-over", and then some!

Kristin Posehn's avatar

Beautiful BA, from Rat-King(!!!) to your taut, wry and felt present. And I'm always needing another helping of this concluding reminder

B.A. Lampman's avatar

Thank you so much, Kristin... coming from you, I take this as a massive compliment. In my opinion, you're a writer on another level entirely, while I am merely serviceable 👀. And yes, I need to be reminded too!

Jessica Michalofsky's avatar

I pondered the photographs, wondering whose sunglasses might fly off into space. I enjoyed not knowing whose face was whose and the return to our collective 20s, creativity, and confusion.

B.A. Lampman's avatar

Thanks Jessica xo

David P. Smith's avatar

Meaty installment of FTM, lot to look at, lots to ponder, and digest.

B.A. Lampman's avatar

Thanks Smitty xo