No. 86 - Two-handed drawings

A way to calm thy troubled mind

B.A. Lampman

Jan 31, 2025

Hi Peeps

How’s everybody’s 2025 so far?

😵‍💫😑😵😶😶‍🌫️😖😭🤯🤬💩

Okay, we won’t talk about it. Not right now.

What I would like to discuss is staying calm, and I don’t just mean in response to the dumpster fire world we’re living in at the moment. I mean, in general. I’m one of those people whose nervous system goes amps to 11 at the least provocation, and I’ve found that caring for this tendency makes a big difference to my experience of pretty much everything in my life.

Don’t get me wrong—I am not a zen-like creature, a peaceful person who always cares lovingly for herself and does all the right things. Hell no. But I did tend to my nervous system for a full month last April, and felt the change in me. Each day I did five minutes of cyclic sighing, ten minutes of meditation (I use the Waking Up app), plus I was making hand-painted newsletter posts so I was doing a lot of creating. I felt calmer overall, and less reactive to whatever came my way. Apparently, what I was doing wasn’t only helping me in the moment, but was actually working to heal my dysregulated nervous system. That was heartening to know.

I wrote about it in one of those aforementioned hand-painted posts, if you’d like to take a gander:

Taking Note No.10

B.A. Lampman

May 7, 2024

Read full story

Then came May! And June! And several other wack-a-doodle months! And whaddya know, all that calm goodness went flying out the window. I didn’t do it again until January 7th of this year, so it’s only been a few weeks of maintaining this practice again.

HEART and MIND

I’ve sought counselling on and off since my mid-twenties, done lots of journaling and reading, and basically tried to think my way through whatever difficulties I faced. You could also say I’ve had spiritual inclinations, which have only become stronger as I’ve aged. But somehow it took me a loooooooong time to understand that everything wasn’t taking place in my head. Sure, the brain’s great and all, but it’s not the whole story.

It’s a misnomer to say that the body and mind are “connected”—they’re part of the same system, and you are that system. When I first started learning about my nervous system dysregulation, I had to concede that this was something I couldn’t solve with thinking. Understanding that I can enact these physical changes upon myself has been calming in itself.

I’ve since come to understand that the body has its own wisdom, equal to if not surpassing that of the brain. We’re animals who can sense the mood of a room, who can sense if someone’s looking at us, but we like to think of ourselves as brain machines. Rational. Logical.

I’m so tired of that shit.

No, I am not a New Age Seeker

Believe me—back in the day I would have rolled my eyes hard at what I’m about to tell you:

I was having a hard time coming up with a word or phrase for 2025—something I (and millions of others) like to do to set an intention for the coming year. Last year my phrase was rest and healing, because that’s what I needed, so I felt a certain pressure to come up with something a little more gung-ho for this year. Something energetic, something motivating and maybe a little ambitious. Kind of makes me laugh now that I thought that might be appropriate.

In Feed the Monster No. 84, I posted a photo of my idea book for 2025. I always put my word or phrase for the new year on the first page of that notebook, but I hadn’t come up with it yet.

During the first week of January, I came to understand what I needed in 2025.

I need to take care of myself, and to that end I need to tend to my nervous system again. I also need to love and honour myself. This is something I’m still negotiating with myself about, haha.

Et voilà, the first page of my idea book:

My practice for calming my nervous system now entails five minutes of cyclic sighing, ten minutes of meditation, and fifteen minutes for making a two-handed drawing. It gets me into my studio for a minimum of half an hour, which can then go longer of course. But it does get me in there, which is key.

Two-handed drawing

I hold a brush-pen in each hand and draw each side of the image simultaneously, mirror-image-style, and believe me it is calming. There’s a certain kind of concentration required for this maneuver, and it quiets the pesky brain. For me it also has the added bonus of being a low-stakes way to get me drawing again, since I’ve once again become rusty. Because it’s hard to control what I’m doing, it removes the possibility of making a “good” drawing (read: “perfect”, read: controlled, read: ultimately wound-up and rigid). It frees me up.

Interestingly, the two-handed drawings started to become too easy! By the last one you’ll see here, I realized I didn’t need to concentrate as much and the motions were becoming rote. I’ll have to try something other than faces if I want the same self-imposed lack of control.

Anyhoo, here are some of the two-handed drawings, done in my sketchbook on an open, two-page spread (PS, I’m right-handed):

TAKING NOTE: Creating Ourselves Through Journaling

A reminder for those who live in Victoria, BC that the workshop TAKING NOTE: Creating Ourselves Through Journaling is being offered at the warm and intimate Aunty Collective!

It’ll take place over two nights: Tuesday February 11th and Tuesday February 18th from 6:00 - 8:00 pm. You can register here.

If you have questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.

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FEED THE MONSTER

Taking Note No.10

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